I’ve reached a milestone in life,
I’ve come far enough down the road
that I can stop and look back.
And in the quiet, ask myself,
Have I lived as a disciple would?

Can I place my journey beside the Twelve,
Beside the holy men and women who came before?
I’ve lost my way more than once.
I’ve doubted, stumbled,
and taken more U-turns than I can count.

I’ve fallen short of the disciple I hope to be.
There were many moments I insisted
on steering life my way,
pursuing my own projects,
and pouring myself into efforts that ended in vanity.

Yet when I hear your words, Lord,
“The harvest is rich but the labourers are few;
ask the Lord of the harvest to send labourers into his harvest”,
I feel both humbled and called anew.
For You did not choose the Twelve because they were perfect,
but because they were willing.
You summoned them, empowered them,
and sent them out with authority far beyond their own;
to heal, to cast out spirits,
to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven is near.

And perhaps that is the invitation for me.
Not to compare myself to the Saints, nor to match their steps,
but to respond to the same summons they once heard.
The harvest is still rich.
The workers are still few.

Despite my detours, my doubts, and my vanity,
the Lord of the harvest still calls.

Day 2, 1st Saturday of Advent