I was wide awake at 6am on Friday.
Can I blame You for that?

If I sleep well, I give You thanks.
If I wake too early,
is that not on You too?

Why was I sitting in the pews
before the sun even rose?
Pondering.

What should I give up this Lent?
What do I need to empty out
to make space for?

The news.
Was that You speaking?

I wrestled with that all day.

How consumption-centred I have become.

Our news is not sensational.
Not emotionally charged.
But I read it in the morning,
throughout the day,
before I sleep.

The latest updates
are always at my fingertips.
I am afraid of missing out.
Afraid of being uninformed.
Afraid of not knowing what is happening in the world.

So I chose to give up the news.
Just forty days.

After all,
what big world event could possibly happen
during this time?

Today, I did not understand
when the priest ended his homily saying
he was leaving on a ten-day pilgrimage
but did not know if Qatar Airways
would even be operating.
The congregation laughed.
I did not get it.

Later, someone mentioned Dubai airport.
Someone else said bombs.
US. Israel. Iran.
“I wouldn’t fly near the Middle East,”
another added.
Still, I did not understand.

Instead of reading the news tonight,
I called the boy whose father had just passed on.

He was alone at home.
“I’m just talking to myself,” he said.

“Why? Do you want to talk to me?” I asked.
“Yes, can you keep me company?
Everyone’s still out running errands. I’m alone.”

Through a simple video call,
we had a heart-to-heart conversation.

If I had been scrolling,
refreshing headlines,
chasing updates,
I might not have been present
to the young man
who needed someone
to accompany him tonight.

When his siblings returned,
I ended the call.
Then, I caved.
I took a peek at the headlines—
only the headlines.

Are You kidding me?
Is this coincidence?

For the last forty-eight hours,
I had no idea a war had started.

And then I remembered something someone said:
We will eventually find out what is important.

Maybe You did not wake me at 6am
to give something up.
Maybe You woke me
so I could make space.